


the moon rose like a blooming flower

by neverlxnd



Category: EXO, EXO (Band)
Genre: AKA, Angst, EXO - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Lu Han Leaves EXO, M/M, Mentioned Wu Yi Fan | Kris, The Golden Age, The Lost Planet Era, Yikes, i honestly dont even know what the ending is, i rushed this, i think all of my works start with that, its a happy ending i swear, lowkey slipped some xiuchen in there, trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 18:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12138885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverlxnd/pseuds/neverlxnd
Summary: Minseok gets bad news from the love of his life and best friend, and doesn't know how to cope with it(the iconic airport photos where xiuhan had an argument and minseok was ignoring him)(aka my take on what they were arguing about)





	the moon rose like a blooming flower

**Author's Note:**

> title is from a poem called meeting again by Susan Wheeler from poets.org

The fans screams was all Minseok heard as he stepped out of the black sleek van. His hands gripped the bag slung around his shoulder, already feeling his anxiety levels rise. These days they were gaining more and more popularity, not only in South Korea but in many other countries. Because as it turns out, people love seeing a group of 12 good-looking boys sing and dance.

 _Well_.

 _Eleven_ good-looking boys. Since Kris left, he finds all the members pretending not to be affected by it, especially when they go to outings. The moment Kris had told the eleven of them was a mess of emotions. He remembers seeing Suho cry for the first time without it being a result of overjoy, he can picture everyone's reactions perfectly, momentarily forgetting about his own feelings when the bad news was delivered. Kris wasn't someone he was incredibly close to, not like he was to Luhan, but they were all still very close. His steps seemed a little more light against the white airport tiles while his mind only stepped harder with the image of his band mates upset faces. But not everyone was crying when Kris stood in front of them with the poison on his tongue, no. He was surprised to see Tao, one of their youngest, yelling at Kris, honorifics going out the window while Sehun calmed him down while wearing a grim expression himself.

He was beginning to feel a little lost, but it's as if his brain sent out a signal for the latter, because Luhan soon appeared by his side wearing sunglasses and a snap-back. The older of the two looped his arm around Minseok's, resulting in a certain area of the fans screaming louder. Minseok naturally felt himself smile and ease settled in his chest and he prayed the fans didn't notice how visibly relaxed he suddenly became.

"It's still unbelievable every time we go out," Luhan said in awe, using his index finger to push his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. The deer's eyes were slightly wider than usual behind the tinted glasses, mouth agape. He watched the elder look around the airport, an appreciative look taking over the latter's face. Minseok doesn't know the exact moment he realized his feelings for his closest friend in the group of 12. The latter guesses it's probably sometime during the end of the first leg of their tour. The way Luhan suddenly began to glow under the stage lights, with an even brighter smile. Something twinged in his chest, pulling at his heart strings that one buzzing night. _Then_ _again_ , he's just guessing.

"So how was it being back in China?" Minseok asked, turning his head so his attention was on the boy. When the group of 12 was formed, he was a little bit against the idea of being in a sub-unit for the Chinese side of EXO, but meeting Luhan settled him into the idea. Until suddenly, he became grateful that he was put into EXO-M. Now leading into the end of September therefore bringing the second leg of the tour to an end.

Luhan's face noticeably fell, making Minseok's eyebrow raise in worry. The fair toned boy switched his gaze down to the floor and continued walking, still pulling Minseok beside him. If it weren't for the sunglasses blocking the latter's eyes from the public, everyone would quickly note the sudden wetness to the deer's tear ducts.

"Luhan? Are you okay?" Minseok asked, worry laced in his voice. His grip tightened on the older's arm, stopping him in his tracks. But he suddenly forgot they were in an airport filled with cameras and security escorting them, the other 9 boys trailing behind them. So even though he had concern flooding his face, he continued walking, but the question was still lingering in the air. "Luhan," he tried again.

The boy had stayed quiet until they were all escorted to a secluded area to wait for their plane. He was beginning to feel numb in his toes from the boy's sudden quietness. Maybe he shouldn't have asked, Minseok thought. They were leaving his home after all, to tour for three more months. He liked the idea of Luhan being only upset at the fact of missing China, so he stayed quiet despite the questions eating away at him on the inside.

He sat down on one of the chairs, expecting Luhan to sit down beside him. Instead, something he wasn't expecting, Luhan pulled him back up to his feet and dragged him to one of the walls by the seats. Their members and Suho payed no attention, only glancing their way to make sure they stayed close. With furrowed eyebrows, he stared back at Luhan and waited for an explanation.

"Shit," Luhan muttered, turning away for a second. Just a second. And then he was looking back at Minseok with those stupid sunglasses, his reflection taunting him. "I'm sorry. I just – I've been meaning to tell you something and it's killing me."

"So tell me," Minseok murmured. His voice was small but still assertive, making sure not to pressure Luhan too much. He's close enough with him to know that whenever Luhan is dealing with stress or had a bad day not to breath down his neck and quickly ask him what's wrong. So, like in the past, he waited for Luhan to even out his breaths and calm himself.

He's not going to lie, he was half expecting Luhan to say something along the lines of him returning his untold feelings towards the deer, but he feels that's overdrawing and the reason he's worked up is probably something minor. He scuffed the tip of his shoe against the squeaky clean floor, producing a pitched screech.

"Well, okay," Luhan started, rubbing his hands down the sides of his thighs. Probably from how clammy they were becoming, courtesy of his nervousness. "This isn't easy and I wanted you to be the first to know..."

Minseok swears his ears stopped working at the next sentence that came out of his mouth. His heart sunk as he ran it over in his head, repeating and taunting him. He began to feel his own eyes water but quickly composed himself. Maybe he heard wrong?

"What?"

"I'm leaving."

And yeah, he heard right the first time. He looked back to the members, who were sitting down and talking, an abundance of laughter occasionally filling the airport. When he finally turned back to Luhan, there was a single tear slipping down his cheek, past the frames on his glasses, but the latter was quick to wipe it away with the pad of his thumb.

"Can you say something?" Luhan sniffed while he just stared at the boy with a disheartening gaze. What was he supposed to say to that? How was he supposed to tell him when he couldn't even form words in his head. "Min?"

His voice pulled him out of his gloomy state of mind, and then the words were tumbling out before he could stop his tongue.

"What am I supposed to say? Have a good life? Do you want me to congratulate and hug you? It was supposed to be me and you, you're my best friend here and you're leaving me. You're leaving us. After everything we've all been through so far, and now you're just going to leave like Kris."

The boy stared bewildered at the other, eyebrows raised and a sad glint to his eyes, shocked with what he heard. He didn't mean for the words to come out like that, but he was so scared to be without Luhan. He was upset that he wasn't going to able to see that white smile on stage, hear that contagious laughter in the dorms.

"I'm sorry," Luhan choked out.

Minseok had nothing else left to say about it, he was a little guilty at his sudden burst of anger towards his best friend as he's never gotten that angry with him, but the words were already out in the air and who was he to take back the truth?

He turned his back towards Luhan, crossing his arms and leaning his muscular frame against the wall. He heard the older sigh from behind him and then they were standing in an intense silence. He's more than sure the pictures magazines and fans were taking now were going to raise speculation but all he could worry about was EXO without Luhan. Himself without his best friend.

" _Flight number 34, Beijing to Seoul, South Korea. Your flight is boarding now, please make your to the security and scan your tickets."_

The buzz from the intercom was ringing in his ears, still wearing a disgruntled expression. He pushed off the wall and joined the rest of the members, who were now standing and being escorted towards the security check-out. His mind kept wandering back to the thought of being in EXO-M without Luhan, being in EXO without him altogether. He wondered when he was going to tell the others, which led to the next question burning in his mind – why did Luhan choose to tell him first rather than Suho? Or anybody of the other members for that matter. He ignored the several conclusions of Luhan possibly liking him back, but settled on the thought that it was probably just because they were the closest duo in EXO and felt obligated to tell him first.

He felt a sudden presence beside him and turned to see Jongdae walking alongside him.

"Hey," the younger nudged his shoulder against his own, wearing a small smile.

"Hey," he replied. He tried not to sound too depressed or show any sign of weakness as he keeps reminding himself that they don't know about Luhan's future departure.

"What's wrong?" Jongdae asked, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Besides Luhan, the younger body beside him was the second closest friend of his in EXO. Mostly because he was also in EXO-M, but because whenever he seemed down, Jongdae seemed to make it his mission to smile. He was always caring for him and sometimes in the most subtle ways.

"Nothing, I'm just sad about leaving. Beijing was too fun," he lied. It didn't feel good lying and he felt guilty for lying but he couldn't exactly tell him he's upset because his best friend is leaving their band. And even if he did have Luhan's permission to say, he wouldn't know how to tell them, especially since some of them are still recovering from Kris's leave.

The younger nodded and he leaned his head down onto Jongdae's shoulder as they continued walking towards the security. After getting passed through security and fetching their luggage, they boarded the plane and waited for it to take off. What Minseok wasn't expecting was for Jongdae to stick to his side all the way until they sat down in their seats, leaving Luhan to send him frequent worried glances towards him from down the row. Luhan was sitting closer to the aisle, a couple seats down from Minseok, seated beside Sehun.

"Minseok."

He ignored the familiar light-feather voice and kept his gaze forward, waiting for the plane to take off. But Jongdae was poking at his shoulder, notifying him of Luhan's calling. He sighed and turned to look at the older. Luhan's eyebrows were raised and the sunglasses he was previously wearing were folded and hanging from the collar of his shirt. He looked like he was about to get up and that scared Minseok because he was done talking about it, he didn't want to keep being reminded that he was being left. But then the intercom was coming on with a screech.

" _Please buckle up your seat belts, the plane will be lifting very soon._ "

Luhan looked defeated as he sat back down, buckling his seat belt again. The rest of the plane ride was quiet, save for Jongdae's whining, occasionally pulling a laugh out of the older. He decided sleeping was a good pass time so he leaned his temple against Jongdae's shoulder and closed his eyes and then he was pulled into a deep sleep.

When he woke two hours later, they were still in the air but he could plainly see the tall signature buildings of Seoul. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hands, reminding everyone of a small cat waking up from a nap. The clouds began to disperse as the plane began to slow, coming back down to ground-level. He felt somebody beside him grab his forearm, stifling a laugh when he turned to see Jongdae clutching onto him with eyes clenched shut. His body bounced slightly when the plane touched the ground, soft and staccato like bumps until the wheels were rolling smoothly along the paved airway road. 

The loud ' _ding_ ' made him look away from Jongdae and towards the LCD sign above the seats, signalling to the passengers that it was safe to unbuckle. His small fingers grasped his belt buckle and then he stretched out in his seat. Pressing the palms of his hands towards the roof of the plane, feeling his shoulders pop as he let out a sigh.

"Come on," Jongdae called, holding his hand out to Minseok.

He grabbed the younger's hand and pulled himself up out of his seat and began following the members out of the plane. He retrieved his bag from one of their security guards and quickly reached into it and pulled out a mask. Slipping it over his ears and covering his mouth, he continued following the members into the airport filled with screams. His pace was quick and consistent until he felt thin fingers wrap around his bicep, pulling him flush against a thin fragile body.

"Can we talk about this?" Luhan's voice was small, but loud enough for Minseok to hear. With the screams of their fans growing louder, Luhan felt like he was running out of time to tell the other how he felt. Because he just knows when they get back to their dorms Minseok will just avoid him as soon as they step in the house – despite being roommates.

"There's nothing left to say. Don't expect me to support you when you decide to tell the others," he huffed out. There was no denying the tension the rest of the group felt when they got to the two vans in front, waiting to take them to the dorms. Normally, Minseok would ride with Luhan and whoever else that climbed in and the members wouldn't bat an eyelash. But they all raised an eyebrow at the way the shorter boy had quickly got in one of the vans without Luhan and instead sat beside Baekhyun.

As Luhan expected, Minseok had made a beeline for their shared room and locked the door behind him when the older had tried following after him. Almost as soon as Minseok closed and locked the door behind him, he slammed his back against it and slowly slid himself down the wooden door until he felt his bum settle on the floor. That's when the tears began to fall. There wasn't much he could do when Luhan told him back at the airport, with all the fans around, but now that he was alone and hidden from other faces he didn't feel the need to hold it in anymore. He hadn't realized just how much this whole debacle saddened him when he felt his body shaking from how heavy he was sobbing.

Was his best friend really leaving him? A reasonable solution to his problem of missing Luhan would be to just see him outside of schedule and just hang out, but there was no way in  _hell_ that the company was going to let any of them be seen interacting with Luhan. And it's not like hanging out with him outside of EXO was the same as the way they are – well  _were_.He decided that the other members were probably worried about him so he sniffled the last of his tears and wiped his cheeks. After standing up he dusted off his pants and headed towards the bathroom. When he was met with his reflection, puffy eyes and flushed cheeks were staring back at him.

When he joined the rest of the group in the living room, they were all seated on the couch watching a Korean drama on the television. He let out a sad sigh when he picked out the brown mop of hair seated beside Tao. Like any other time they all sat and watched movies together, some sat on the floor at the feet of the members squished on the small couch. They really should get a new couch, or maybe not since Kris was gone and Luhan wasn't too far along.

The scuffing of his feet against the carpet didn't seem to bother the boys enough to detach their eyes from the screen ahead of them, except the one boy he was avoiding. He ignored the intense gaze he felt from the older and sat on the floor beside Kai. He crossed his outstretched leg over the other as he leaned back against Lay's legs, the black haired boy quickly widening his legs for him to slot back in between them.

"Hyung, take my seat. You shouldn't sit on the floor," Tao offered, already making a move to get up from the couch.

He looked back at Tao, skipping over Luhan's eye contact and quickly shaking his head. He ignored the way Luhan's shoulders visibly slumped.

"That's okay, dongsaeng. Stay seated."

Tao smiled and obeyed, making himself comfortable again. The deer-like boy only deepened his frown as Minseok continued to ignore him the rest of the night. Two hours later, they were complaining about their empty stomachs and yawning. The boys all began talking over the other on whether or not they wanted a home cooked meal or to just get takeout, save for the two oldest who were still avoiding eye contact.

Minseok was pulled back out of his empty daydream and when he looked up from the counter top he was previously staring down at, all 10 boys had their fixed gazes on him. He rose an eyebrow, straightening his back.

"Are you alright hyung? You've been acting weird ever since we left Beijing," Baekhyun mentioned, moving to stand beside him. He wanted to tell them what had him so down, but for one thing it wasn't his news to tell and he couldn't even get the words out without getting sad himself, never mind telling the 9 boys who adored Luhan.

"Fine," he spoke, his voice coming out a bit too rough. "What were we talking about?"

The 9 boys exchanged looks before shrugging, coming to the conclusion that maybe he was just having an off day. Or had a bad encounter with the paparazzi earlier today. They continued their animated (and loud) conversation.

"I think we should let Luge and Minseokie cook."

He looked up to the source of the voice and was not at all surprised to see it was Suho who had said it. Being a leader and all, he must've known their was something off between the two oldest. I mean, who  _wouldn't_ with the avoided gazes and sparse conversation between the two.

The 9 boys all clapped their hands, agreeing to the idea Suho had suggested. He's not sure if they agreed just because he's the leader or if they all noticed the tension between him and Luhan today. He's hoping the latter.

"Min?"

He inwardly clutched at his heart at the sound of Luhan using the nickname, already feeling a lump grow in his throat. But he quickly swallowed it and sent all of them a smile – missing Luhan's direction.

"Sure, but I need help."

Twenty minutes later Kai, Tao and Sehun were seated back in front of the television, playing one of their video games. As expected from the maknae line. Baekhyun, Lay and Suho were helping clean the kitchen, while Chanyeol, Luhan, Jongdae and himself were cooking dinner. He was doing a good job at avoiding Luhan in the kitchen, despite the members efforts to get them to talk or even stand next to each other. Minseok pretended not to notice when the members would sigh whenever he moved to a different part of the kitchen as soon as Luhan would come stand beside him. But he was backed into a corner when Luhan had come up beside him in front of the stove, while he was stirring up the food in the pan. He cursed to himself because he couldn't leave this food, not now, because it  _had_ to be stirred unless he wanted it tasting terrible. He gave hats off to Luhan though, for picking now to try talk to him.

"Min, I'm sorry but what do you want me to do?" Luhan whispered.

He could feel the older's eyes boring into the side of his face while he stirred. And stirred. And stirred. That's all he did until he heard Luhan sigh, and it seemed he was going to give up trying to talk to him but Minseok stopped him with a question he's been asking himself.

"Why?"

His voice stopped Luhan from moving away from his side, the boy's face contorting into a perplexed expression. The older looked cautiously around the kitchen, checking if the members were listening or looking. Minseok looked over his shoulder for a moment, curious himself. Baek and them were still cleaning, while Chan and Jongdae were cutting vegetables at the table, invested in their own conversation.

"I can't tell you," the boy started, causing Minseok to scoff and turn his attention back to the food. Luhan let out a short frustrated sigh, "can we sleep together tonight? I'll tell you then, it's not safe to talk about this around the members."

"That's a bit sleazy of you, to be honest."

"Minseok," the boy exhaled, as if to say 'help me out here'. But Minseok just wanted everyone to know already, it's only been a couple of hours since Luhan told him and he couldn't take keeping something like this from his friends.

"Look, take your time in telling the others. But unless you're going to tell me right now why you're leaving, forget it, leave me out of it."

Their conversation came to a halt when Chanyeol was standing beside them with a bowl of cut vegetables in his hands. Minseok hopes he didn't hear the part about leaving, and Luhan seemed to be thinking the same thing because he quickly took the bowl and thanked Chanyeol before the taller was leaving to join the maknae's game playing.

"You can't ask me to do that, Minseok. What if one of them hears? What do I say then?" Luhan asked, tossing the vegetables in the pan. Minseok gingerly stirred the food around, mixing in the veggies while he listened intently.

"Then I guess that's your problem, you should've told everyone at the same time instead of telling me first," Minseok murmured, turning the stove off. For the first time in 6 hours, he looked at Luhan and he suddenly forgot why he was mad at the other. It was for a second but he couldn't stop staring at the way the boy's skin was still glowing despite his sorrowful mood, couldn't stop being mesmerized by the way his wide and circular brown eyes were gleaming, a piece of hair falling down in between his perfectly maintained eyebrows. He wanted to reach up and push the hair back in place, and he was about to but he stopped himself from reaching, clenching his fist at his side.

"Minseok, what the hell. I thought you would understand, that's why I told you. I expected you to be the least hurt or angry."

Luhan's words dug deep in his stomach, bringing out a fiery side he hadn't known he had. Who was Luhan to tell him that he wasn't going to be upset when they were best friends? When they were basically attached at the hip. When all they did at night when they fell asleep in each other's beds was whisper and giggle to each other. All of that was going to be gone and he was expecting him to be okay with that?

He turned the stove off and faced Luhan again, except there was nothing but fire in his eyes. The apron he was wearing around his waist was tugged off before he threw it on the table angrily, all while keeping the intense eye contact with Luhan. He stepped to the side and called out to the members.

"Dinner's ready," he called, capturing the attention of the 9 boys. There was clambering and shuffling until he finally broke eye contact with the older boy standing in front of him.

"Hyungs, aren't you going to eat?" Kai asked, pouring some of the food onto his plate.

Minseok immediately shook his head and turned on his heel, "I'm not hungry." And with one last glare to Luhan, he walked out of the kitchen and towards his room. Like earlier, as soon as he slammed his door shut, the tears were slipping and the sobs were running out of his mouth. Without locking the door this time, he dragged his feet to his bed and dropped himself down onto it. His sobs were muffled against the pillow, staining the white cotton material and no doubt soaking it as well.

He wonders if the scene he caused before he left made the others wonder what he and Luhan were talking about, making him also wonder if he told them yet. His heart was telling him he cared and that he wanted to be there for his best friend and crush, but his mind wasn't over the idea of him leaving. All of his thoughts and worries were put to rest when his sobs became quieter and turned into sniffles. The last thing on his mind before he let sleep take over his body was Luhan.

 

A week had passed since Luhan told him about leaving and he was still avoiding the older. The others had raised speculation about it, talked about it even but fell quiet whenever one of the two came into the room. Minseok didn't feel bad when he heard from eavesdropping a conversation between Lay and Suho about Luhan rooming with them this past week, instead he felt a little bit accomplished that Luhan was feeling at least half of the hurt he was.

During the following week however, he hadn't noticed a mood change in the boys. And he came to the one conclusion that it meant Luhan still hasn't told them about him leaving. That only fueled Minseok's anger because – how long was he going to hold out? Was he going to tell them before hand, or was he going to be like Kris and just spring it on them right before leaving? He was on edge each time they were all gathered together, ready to hold onto whoever needed comfort, or even a shoulder to cry on. His heart raced whenever Luhan spoke, waiting for the words to come. But they never did. He decided to take matters into his own hands and confront the other about when he was going to tell them.

When he walked into the living room on that cold Sunday morning, he was surprised to see that the one person he wanted to talk to was sitting by himself on the couch. The television was off and there was no sign of any entertainment devices on. His feet moved across the carpet quietly until he was standing beside the couch, his gaze on the side of Luhan's face. The boy was staring straight ahead, staring into an abyss. His heart clenched when the boy didn't seem to notice him standing there, was it too late to talk to Luhan about it?

"Luhan," he softly spoke, stepping closer to the couch.

The boy still didn't budge, not a muscle moved. Minseok lifted his hand to check the time on his phone, the clock read 7:24am. He sighed and continued to move closer with caution. Why was he nervous to approach him? It should be the other way around.

"Lu."

The deer immediately reacted to the nickname Minseok used to call him, making the younger's cheeks turn a light pink. He sat down beside the boy, still keeping his distance. They sat in a foggy silence, both now staring at the black screen ahead of them, looking at their blurred reflection.

"I just wanted to know – when you're planning on telling the others," he asked, his voice hushed. It's like he was scared the whole house was listening, or like a normal level of sound would break the boy. He waited for Luhan's response and he was beginning to believe that he wasn't going to get one, but then his scratchy voice came.

"I don't know." Luhan's voice was rough and low, not in a way you'd find attractive, in a way where you'd feel the need to grab them water or lemon tea. "I'm just trying to spend as much time with them as I can before I – you know." The latter cleared his throat and continued, "is that the only reason you're talking to me?"

He didn't know what to say – because he missed talking with Luhan. He missed falling asleep beside him while his fingers carded through his hair. He just  _missed_ Luhan, but maybe it was his conscious teaching him how to be without his best friend. Yet he found himself shaking his head, relaxing the boy beside him.

"No," he started. "I want to talk."

Hearing Minseok say those words was like a mating call for Luhan, snapping his head towards the younger with a glint of hope in his wide eyes. Minseok was surprised to say the least, Luhan didn't even look like the boy from a week ago. Sitting in front of him was his love with dark under eye circles, completed with messy hair. The boy was wearing sweatpants and a baggy sweater, swallowing his body up and making him look like a child wearing their dads clothes. Come to think of it, he thought, he's pretty sure those sweatpants are his.

"What do you want to start with?" Luhan asked, turning his body towards him. He didn't object or pull away when he felt the latter's knee rest against his thigh.

"I guess the 'why' would help," he suggested, subconsciously leaning into his touch. It was a small gesture, a tiny interaction of contact but he felt tingly and deprived of his best friend's touch.

The boy sighed, making the top of his hair fluff up before falling back down quickly. "There's no good way to tell you but I can't be here anymore when I'm not being treated fairly."

Minseok cocked his head in confusion because since when did any of the members ever treat Luhan badly? They all loved and adored the oldest,  _especially_ him.

"B-but everyone loves you, how are you-"

"No," Luhan interrupted with a sigh. He pressed his elbows on his knees while his head fell into his hands. "It's management, it's the company. I thought it was going to be different after Growl came out but EXO-M is still being treated like a sidepiece."

A  _sidepiece_? Minseok repeated the title in his head. He knew what he was getting into when they went over the contracts and concept ideas, all of them did, but he didn't think there'd be any mistreatment or favoritism. "What do you mean?" Minseok asked.

"I mean, EXO-K gets to go to Mexico next year, while we only do small shows all around China. I love the guys, but it's not fair. EXO-K is treated better than we are," Luhan explained, piecing everything together. Minseok shook his head. "Come on Min, you're telling me that you've never once felt like they've gotten more opportunities than we have?"

He thought about it for a second, two seconds, three, until he was shaking his head again. "No, we knew what we were signing up for. What did you expect with the twelve of us, four of you being Chinese."

"That's the thing though Min, they've been giving me, Tao and Lay a hard time. I mean, I don't actually _know_ if it's Tao and Lay but that's why Kris left. I feel trapped and confined, like I'm a bird in a cage that only gets taken out to amaze people."

The thought of Luhan being mistreated sent unsettling nerves to his stomach, even just thinking about the rest of the members being mistreated. I mean, sure Idols are mistreated everyday from day on as a trainee, but somehow with the way Luhan's voice is strained and full of an unexplained tone, he feels like his situation might be different than your average Idol treatment.

He looked back to Luhan, who now had water lining the outskirts of his eyes. Not talking to Luhan these past days had not only visibly taken a toll on the older, but on himself as well. He cried himself to sleep almost every night last week, yearning for the common warmth of Luhan's body. Waiting for the body wash scent he had grown to know. He didn't want to fight with Luhan anymore, so he decided to live in the moment and spend as much time as he was allowed.

"Okay," Minseok murmured, inching his hand closer to Luhan's. His fingers crawled their way in between the distance until they were laced with the older's. He felt something switch within him, like a furnace turning back on after a long cold winter's day. He relished in the tingles spreading throughout his hand, sending warmth all the from his head to his toes. He missed Luhan so much. Apparently so much that he was pulling the older into a bone-crushing hug.

"Mmph," was the only noise the came out of Luhan, followed by a sigh. If Minseok hadn't known better, he'd say the wetness forming on his shoulder was the tears from Luhan. And frankly, he didn't care if this was one of his shirts that  _had_ to be hanged dry or else it'd be wrinkly, because his best friend was back in his arms. He didn't know for how long, but he also didn't care, reminding himself that he only has right now with Luhan. "I missed you so much," Luhan sobbed.

The only thing he could do for Luhan was continue hugging him, smoothing his hand in circles on his back. He sort of feels left out from the emotional state of Luhan, but he's already cried out from these past days.

"I missed you too," he replied with more than a little affection clutching onto his voice. "You should tell them soon, it's not fair to them."

The boy nodded, letting out a sniffle.

Ten minutes later, they were laying on the couch with their limbs tangled together and breathing patterns mixing into one. Minseok was laying with his back against the arm of the couch, his adoring friend laying against his chest. Luhan's brown locks were rough and straw-like as he carded his fingers through his hair, occasionally massaging his scalp. He wasn't sure when but he dozed off back to sleep and _maybe_ woke up later to his fellow members cooing over the two, saying something along the lines of 'favorite duo' and 'back together'.

 

A year and some months later, they were on their second tour Exo'luxion and Minseok was feeling a little more than nervous as he anxiously tapped his foot on the gray tiles beneath him.

After that morning on the couch, Luhan ended up telling the rest of the group about his departure two days later. Minseok was originally against the idea of waiting two days but was compelled to agree when the latter had told him that he wanted Minseok to himself before the members rushed to spend time with him before he left. To his surprise, everyone took Luhan's news a bit more handled, but that had to do mostly with the fact that they were prepared from Kris's departure. Sure they were all sad, but Suho had convinced them to focus on making the most of their time left together.

When Luhan's time came to leave, finishing up the last concert as an EXO member, Minseok hadn't known what to do when their manager told them they couldn't have any sort of connections with Luhan. They weren't surprised because that's exactly what happened with Kris when he left. They weren't allowed to follow each other, like each other's pictures, talk about each other and the very obvious no hanging out in public. For Minseok, none of those things had the same impact on him when Kris than when Luhan left. He figured he could always text the younger leader, but with Luhan he wondered how he was going to sleep at night when he was always the one to press kisses to his hair and make small talk until he feel asleep.

Back to present time, Minseok switched the tapping of his feet to his fingers where they were drumming against the white marble table. With a flicker of his eyes to the door every ten minutes, he began nervously chewing on his bottom lip. Outside of the coffee shop, he could feel the paparazzi and fans cameras on the side of his face. Why did he choose the seat right next to the display window? Just as he finished that thought there was a ding at the door, signalling someone's arrival. Minseok craned his neck to look in the direction of the door and his breath got caught in his throat when he layed eyes on his friend. And suddenly the loud clicking of cameras was gone from his ears as the boy made eye contact with him and started in his direction.

"Min."

Luhan sat down at the square table across from him with a lopsided grin. The tapping of his fingers against the table had stopped, only to be transferred to picking at his nails. He sent Luhan a smile back, a little hesitant.

"Hi, Lu."

Their feet nudged underneath the table and Luhan switched his gaze to the floor with a blush on his cheeks. He took this time to look at the older's face, re-explore all of the beautiful features he's missed this past year. Just like they talked before the older left the group, they had talked about texting and calling each other, occasionally video calling. They were cautious about hanging out in private, scared to be caught so they stopped going out altogether to avoid the future drama in the tabloids.

Today though, today was different.

The two boys made knowing eye contact before smiles took over their faces. At the same time Minseok pushed his chair back and stood up, Luhan did, and they met in the middle in a tight affectionate hug. He tried pouring everything into the hug, everything he felt and wished he'd said before he left. His waist was tingling in the spots where Luhan's hands were and suddenly that nervous feeling he had when he entered the coffee shop had vanished. He could feel Luhan's soft breaths fanning over his neck and he wondered if the older had butterflies too. When they pulled back and they returned to their seats, the atmosphere changed.

"How's the boys?" Luhan asked, leaning so his back hit the chair.

Minseok shrugged, "they're boys," he chuckled. "They just miss you, and Kris-"

"And now Tao too?"

Minseok glanced at the floor before he started picking at his nails again. "Yeah, now Tao."

When news broke out about Tao leaving as well, he suddenly felt like they were on a survival t.v show and they were being picked off one by one. He used to wonder who the next member was that was going to leave, but as they continued on with nine members, their bond only grew stronger and his doubts about another member leaving disappeared.

"So he really didn't tell you guys?" Luhan's voice held subtle shock, his eyes matching.

Minseok nodded, "no. The manager was the one who told us. And the shitty thing about it is we all weren't even in the same country when they told us."

The older shook his head, "I'm sorry. Maybe if I hadn't left-"

"Hey, this has nothing to do with you leaving. It was Tao's decision to leave," he reassured, reaching across the table. Luhan's expression suddenly went white and Minseok didn't miss the way the older had cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows. They were already testing S.M's rules by being here right now, in the public. All of the members were still not allowed to be seen with the three ex-members, but one morning Minseok had convinced the older to go out. ' _What can they do once it's out? Fire me?_ '. It's not that Minseok didn't love his job and place in Exo but he has a feeling that S.M had no real intention of firing any of them. Minseok nodded and bent his elbow so he could lean his head into his head. He heard Luhan let out a shaky laugh and mumble ' _nice save_ '.

The air had grown sad and Minseok knew why. The older had begun to think too much and blame himself.

"It was my fault. Kris leaving was just a small hit, but me leaving was a push for him to leave. I should've been considerate of his feelings, he only had Lay after me and Kris left."

Minseok sighed, "Luhan. How many times do I have to tell you? It's not your fault. I've said it to you over a thousand times over the phone, and I'll say it to you one more time in person –  _it is not your fault_. That happened months ago, if Tao was deciding to leave because of you, he would've left right after you did."

He didn't know if the words were getting to the older, but he hoped so. He was tired of Luhan blaming himself for that since it hit the news, he partly thinks most of the reason why Luhan blames himself is because of social media. He can't begin to imagine what kind of messages and things he gets sent to him.

"Thanks Min, I really-"

"Here's your order, sorry for the wait."

The two boy's attention was averted to the waitress standing in front of them, holding two tea cups. Their conversation came to a pit stop because if it weren't for the Exo phonecase Minseok had seen on her phone earlier, they both caught the blush in her cheeks when she shyly put the cups down. When the girl left, they locked gazes again. Surprise filled Luhan's face when he looked down at his cup.

"You remember?" Luhan asked, switching his wide deer eyes from the cup to Minseok.

"Of course," he sheepishly said, his voice muffled against the brim of the cup. "How could I forget my soulmate's drink."

Luhan's heart skipped a beat and his cheeks flushed pink for the second time since he sat down, and Minseok loved that he was the only one who could pull that reaction out of the other.

"Soulmate?" Luhan asked.

Minseok stilled, suddenly focused on the table. When they made eye contact, he felt a rush of affection. Even though he hadn't seen this boy in a whole year, he still felt like a day hasn't went by since he loved him. So he nodded, shamelessly.

"I love you," Luhan breathed out, fingers gripping the cup.

Those three words aren't a new sentence the two have shared back and forth before. They've said it to each countless times, hundreds, but something about the way Luhan was softly looking at him with a coy smile on his lips seemed new. He nodded and suddenly felt bad for making Luhan blush, because now he was the one being flustered.

"I love you too."

For the remainder of the time they spent at the coffee shop, the crowd outside didn't lessen and instead grew. They both knew it was only a matter of time until their managers texted them, telling them to separate. An hour and two cups of coffee later, they were in the middle of a conversation when their phones began to buzz violently. Minseok sighed and didn't bother to pull out his phone, already knowing who sent it, and what they sent.

"I guess it's time to go," he whispered. With a confirming nod from Luhan, they both stood up and gathered themselves.

"Hopefully they won't be too hard on you," Luhan chuckled, wincing.

He shrugged, "worst thing they can do is keep me from doing solo activities."

The two stood in front of the window, warmly looking at each other with lazy smiles on their faces. He didn't want to say bye, because after this they probably won't let Minseok out of the dorms without someone breathing down his neck. There was only so much video calling and texting that he could have before he started to miss being physically there with the other.

"I don't want to leave," he pouted.

Luhan cooed, "you're so cute, what makes you think I want to leave?"

Suddenly, a thought came to mind. An outrageous thought in his opinion. Minseok gasped, which caused Luhan to jump and place a hand over his heart.

"Come to the dorms later," he exclaimed. "We'll sneak you in. The guys will be so happy and we can play games like we used to. Oh! And-"

"And cuddle?"

Minseok blushed, mentally slapping himself for being flustered. Nonetheless, he nodded. He moved forward and wrapped his arms around Luhan's middle, while the latter had his hands around his shoulders. Luhan's breath was fanning against his neck, and it felt familiar. When they parted, Minseok took his leave, exiting out the back. Meanwhile Luhan's manager was on his way to retrieve him from the mass of people outside the coffee shop.

When he got back to the dorm, he was bombarded with questions from the members.

"You saw him?"

"Are you crazy?"

"Is he still beautiful?"

"When can we see him?"

All of their questions had come to a close when Suho stepped forward, immediately silencing the group of loud boys. Minseok suddenly felt nervous about the leader's reaction. Technically, he did go behind his back and Suho was always the one who got the backlash from management of the member's when bad news hit the media.

"Suho, I'm sorry. I just really missed him and-"

His words were cut off with a wave of Suho's hand. The leader lowered his hand and Minseok stared nervously.

"Well," he called, "is he still beautiful?"

The room burst with laughter and Minseok was overwhelmed with all of the questions and conversations surrounding Luhan.

 

Minseok had gotten a call from their manager, setting up an appointment the following Monday. He was dreading it but it didn't change how he felt about meeting up with the older. Later that night, staying true to his word, he had texted Luhan and snuck him in the dorms. He figured the paparazzi had no reason for waiting outside their house, having enough photos and material for the day. Half of the boys screamed while the other half cried when the oldest entered the dorm, all rushing the hug him. Minseok had stayed back, watching with fondness in his eyes. Throughout the night, Luhan spent an even amount of time with each of the members, save for Minseok. ' _You spent all day with him!_ '. He didn't mind. Suho had suggested they all watch a movie to end their night before sending Luhan off. They were all seated on the couch in the living room, watching a movie while Sehun clung to Luhan's side. Minseok didn't mind, he knows how much Exo loves Luhan and how much they missed him – so he let them have their time with Luhan, for he knew he'd have many times in the future to cling to his side.

They were halfway through the movie when he felt eyes at the side of his head. When he turned to see, Luhan's deer eyes were staring back – hazy and warm. The affectionate gaze left him feeling all too fond and his gaze softened. The latter nodded towards him and twitched his head to the side. He noted what he was motioning to, so he stood up from his place on the couch (Jongdae whining in the process), and started his way towards his bedroom, Luhan following behind quickly. As they made their way to his room, they pretended not to hear the whistles and side comments from their members.

"I've missed them so much," Luhan spoke as soon as the door was shut.

He chuckled and threw his body onto the king sized mattress. "They missed you too."

Luhan sat down beside him, staring fondly at the boy he loves. "I don't want to leave."

"This seems familiar," he smirked, recalling their time earlier that day. Luhan shook his head and let out a snort. "Lu," he whined, reaching his hands out. The older complied, never seeming to say no to the younger.

When the older was settled with his back against the pillows and an arm wrapped around his shoulders. In the silence, he hesitantly reached across his stomach and grabbed Luhan's hand. He could feel the older's eyes on him as he picked and played with his fingers before lacing them with his own. He couldn't help the sigh that left his mouth and the flowers blooming in his chest.

"I can't believe you went three years without telling me that you were in love with me," Luhan giggled out, leaning his head on top of Minseok's.

He scoffed and moved back to look at the older, "I can't believe you just assumed I was in love as soon as I met you? How do you know I didn't like Suho first? Or Jongdae?"

It was Luhan's turn to scoff now.

"Are you kidding? The moment I met you, I knew. I'm a little offended that you weren't when you met me," Luhan scolded, a joking tone to his voice.

The room fell silent and Minseok already knew that Luhan could feel what he was thinking. He didn't want to go to that meeting to hear them scold him and lock him down, as if he was a teenager being grounded. He didn't want to be forced to go out to planned outings, where fans memories of seeing him with Luhan would be replaced with pictures of him with whoever S.M would try place him with. Most importantly, he didn't want Luhan to leave, because he knows that he's not going to be able to see him now – even if it was in private. The younger of the two wanted to tell him this, wanted to tell him every word. But out of the two, Minseok was always the grounded one. The one who held it together while Luhan let his emotions out. He just didn't want the older to worry.

"I can hear your brain cooking, stop thinking about it. It won't be so bad," Luhan whispered, his voice sounding so soft and calming in the quiet room.

Minseok didn't say anything at first, at a loss of words for once. He hadn't figured out what was going to happen, or what he was going to do when the time to part came. He hoped it was going to be like the other times where they would hug and tell each other they'll text, but he can't wrap his head around seeing the other leave.

"Just," he started, still searching for words. "Hold me."

Luhan didn't say anything after that, only listening to the younger. He waited for Minseok to turn over onto his side and then he pressed himself to him, cuddling him. The older's hands snaked around his waist before intertwining their hands together. Their soft breaths were the only sounds circulating throughout the room, save for the muffled noises coming from the living room.

"We'll find a way, you know."

Minseok bit his lip, staring at the wall.

"They can't keep us apart forever, any of us for that matter."

He nodded at Luhan's words, "don't leave me," he suddenly said, shocking Luhan. "Wait until I fall asleep."

"Never. I'll never leave you."

Minseok felt natural and at home when there was a pair of lips pressing against his cheek, heating his entire body up. In the most subtle ways, Luhan had this big effect on him. He doesn't know if the other notices this trait about him, (he only hopes he doesn't because that would be embarrassing), but he's only really sure of one thing. He lied when the two were talking about first meetings earlier. He  _did_ know as soon as he met Luhan, tiny body and brown shaggy hair, that he was his soulmate. It wasn't something where he told himself, 'this is your soulmate', it was a more subtle way of telling himself. The way he would shift the attention off Luhan when the older was feeling shy, or not talkative. The way he made sure the other was eating the right amount of food, despite their strict diets earlier in their careers. It was more of this voice in the back of his mind, whispering at him throughout the days 'hey, you love him'.

As the night dragged on, Minseok fell asleep and Luhan was repeatedly called by his manager. The older covered Minseok up and shut the lights off in his room, taking his leave from the dorm. But not before he went through eight long goodbye's. Let's just say the next morning when Minseok woke, he wasn't surprised that there was a note stuck to one of his plushies. ' _He's just as cuddly as me <3_'. And let's just say that Luhan made sure to set the coffee machine for Minseok, knowing that he loved having his morning coffee.

After Minseok's meeting with the manager that following Monday, he found himself being put down easier than he thought he was going to.  _A lot_ easier actually. When he met with the manager, he was expecting many different consequences, but asking him to hang out with Luhan regularly wasn't one of them. Which wasn't a consequence at all, really. The first thing he did when he left the sweaty boardroom, he immediately called Luhan.

"What are you doing today?"

" _Hanging with you, I hope._ "

**Author's Note:**

> i know there was some changes or 'mistakes' with the timeline of everyone's leavings, but i couldnt have minseok waiting for like how many years, you know since luhan can't do schedule in korea anymore
> 
> diD YOU GUYS SEE LUHANS GF I KNOW IM LATE BUT HOLY FUCK SHES SO CUTE OMG  
> i read somewhere that he was at a ring shop and he was nervous to be seen there hahaha i lowkey think they've been dating for awhile now
> 
> anyways. leave comments, kudos, suggestions if you want. it would make my heart melt :))) hope you enjoyed


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